Saturday, December 31, 2011

Your Life is YOUR Message!

“My Life is My Message” Mahatma Gandhi

This is true for all of us... What message are you sending? Is it an immediate message, like an e-mail or a text? Or, rather, like a message in a bottle, where the intended information may never land into the hands of the desired recipient. I encourage you in the New Year to be clear in your message. Through your words, your actions, your thoughts… Live with the intention of what your desired outcome is.

If you are loving someone, perhaps it’s time to share your love. And, if it isn’t appropriate to tell them, perhaps you may enjoy just sending them the clean vibration of love, without any strings attached or expectations. Real love isn’t binding in it’s expression. It’s not dependent upon being reciprocated. It just IS.

If you are wanting a new friendship to develop or deepen, perhaps it is time for you to take it to the next level by initiating a get-together… a coffee date, a movie, a walk.

If you are wanting new business connections, perhaps you can DO business with others’. Leave out the expectations of whether or not they reciprocate. Just spread the good news of the quality of their business and watch as others’ perceive YOUR business as being of the highest quality too!

Like attracts like. Be fully what you would like to receive. Allow for others’ to not be in your same space, we are all in our own place of growth, and we learn best from all the different people we come in contact with, the ‘young’ and the ‘old’.

Bring into this New Year a hope everlasting… Know deep inside that dreams really do come true. Love is Bliss. Time does heal all wounds. And, that your contribution to the world is just as valuable as mine, as your Uncle Tom’s, as the woman down the street, and even as valuable as Mahatma Gandhi himself! You are blessed and loved… Cheers!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Happy Holidays!

The holidays always have a certain element of the ole' "hustle and bustle" that creates a bit of a frantic feeling. There never seems to be enough time... Trying to plan who's coming over, where everyone is going to sleep, what presents go to whom, and how the heck are we supposed to feed all these people?! It's chaotic, full of memories, laughter and tempers, and always a little football. Too many sweets, too much debt, and too little sleep. Somehow, we manage... we get through... and then, we collapse!

The holidays are also a time to cherish... our friends and family that come together with the intention of loving and sharing time together. Despite the outcome, the original intentions are rarely anything other than each of us wanting it to go smoothly and joyously. It doesn't always go as planned. And, sometimes our family can drive us crazy. But, if we can try to remember that then original intentions were positive, at least we can go home with those positive feelings.

Life is too short to hold grudges. It's too short to let the little stuff get in the way of the big picture. Wrap yourself in a hug of knowledge that your family loves you, even if they don't always show you in your preferred love language.... or even if they don't know how to show you love at all.

I'm awfully lucky to have a family to love. And, a family that loves me too...

I wish you all the love and joy and forgiveness that each holiday season requires!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Gratitude: The Key to Healthy Relationships

Let’s face it, relationship zeal can falter in even the strongest, most healthy relationships. Be it with your best girlfriend, colleague, or your beloved, there will be times that are more dynamic and intimate than others. So, how do you get a pulse back into your flat-lined relationship? Expression of gratitude. Even when you don’t feel any. Ever heard of the expression, “Fake it till you make it”? Well, it works. Now, I’m not typically in favor of inauthentic expressions, however, sometimes they can be the difference that makes the difference. Did you know that if you are feeling blue and you force yourself to smile that it will naturally start the process of releasing endorphins which will naturally take you out of the blues! Same concept with gratitude. Start feeling it, expressing it, living it, and it will start reflecting back onto you from every encounter. We can even make a difference in our relationships by expressing our gratitude for another in private. Science isn’t sure how it works, but here are the general, non-scientific, explanations: You yourself are putting out subconscious vibes of approval and love and the other person picks up on it. You put your message out into the “collective unconscious” and the other person receives your message through that channel. You literally, psychically, plant the thought and love into the other person, they have no choice but to receive the message. However you choose to believe it works, is the exact and perfect answer to how it works. Just know that it does work!!!

Exercises for Bringing Life into Strained Relationships

Exercise #1

1. Take a few moments to sit down and think about who is in your life that you would like to have a better relationship with. It doesn’t have to be a key person, it can be as simple as the mailman that seems annoyed all the time. But, it can be a key person, such as your husband/partner, that things seem “off” or lackluster with. Make a list if need be.

2. Systematically go down through the list and make mental notes (or physical ones!) describing all the qualities that you admire in the person.

3. Meditate on each of the people on the list with the positive attributes you’ve recognized, thanking them for the parts you’re grateful for.

4. Do this daily as a practice of meditation and gratitude. I like to do it as I go to sleep at night. I feel like it calms my spirit and helps me to remember who and what are important in my life, and why. I sleep like a contented baby….

Exercise #2

1. Think about one person that you have a strained or distant relationship with that you would like resolved. Preferably, this person lives in proximity or you will be seeing them shortly.

2. Think about what has gone wrong in the relationship from your perspective. Then, put yourself in their shoes for a few moments and look at your relationship, good and bad, from their perspective. Allow the feelings to marinade.

3. Write them a letter sharing with them all of the things that you admire about them. It may be that they are handy around the house. It may be that they are amazingly smart. It may be that they make a great supper, or give good hugs when you are sad, or that you think they are honorable. Whatever qualities you appreciate, write it down in a letter format. Do not include anything negative. Only the positive things…

4. Meet with them and read them your letter face to face. Do this from a perspective of love and building a bridge, starting from your side of the river. Keep your expectations at bay and just let the positive energy flow.

5. Leave them the letter if they would like it.

6. Know that you are love in action.