I don't think I have all the answers by any means, but I am learning from my mistakes and observing the mistakes of others. And, I'm learning about what other's have learned and shared, not necessarily as mistakes, but as inspirations. I want to share with you what I have learned from this collective inspiration.
You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want. That said though, it's a really good thing to keep open doors of possibility. Those doors that lead to the spaces where your wildest imagination hasn't yet breached. Those are the doors that the Universe loves to open and surprise us with!
Carve out of your consciousness enough room for the inconceivable. Enough room for the miraculous. Enough room for sublime joy. It is possible. It happens every day to random people. It CAN happen to you.
Fear is the equivalent of a cockblock. It sits next to you, on you, inside of you and blocks the Universe from granting you abundance. It feeds itself, much like the monster under your bed. It is imagination at its worst. It festers and gets stronger with more thoughts about it. It's harder to kill than a cockroach. It feeds depression... shame... lack of self-worth... It creates a downward spiral of all things negative. Practice letting go of fear. Talk to yourself about how the fear is irrational. How it's unproductive. How it's unhealthy. How it tears relationships apart.
When fear, depression, or loneliness creep into your consciousness, don't feed them! Watch happy movies. Listen to happy, upbeat music. Surround yourself with happy people and steer clear of the Negative Nelly's of life. Change your thoughts. It is truly the one thing that you have 100% control over in life (barring any mental illness!). It's hard, but the rewards are worth it. Every time a negative, fear-based thought comes into your mind, re-frame it into a positive, healthier version of the thought. For example: "I'm never going to meet my soulmate" (boo-hoo) into "I am meeting interesting, wonderful people every day! One of these people may even be my soulmate!"
Get curious and allow for adventure! Get to know people and open yourself up to the possibilities that surround you! Start with incremental changes in your thought processes and let it flow from there. And most importantly, step back and take in the view. Seeing the big picture or multiple perspectives is a fast and healing way to start enjoying life and the people that share in it!