Thursday, December 18, 2008

When the End Approaches

Circle Dance

You dance circles in my heart,
Round and round you spin
But you never go anywhere.

I wonder if you know
The direction you are headed.
The direction that you want to go?
The direction that I want to go?

Laughing, crying… trying to find our way,
Through the kisses and passion
Trying to find something solid
To place our footing
Our foundation… to build something lasting.

Yours, mine… different but so alike
A fusion of two different worlds
The potential for greatness,
A weakness that could be crippling.

Where will this dance take me,
The dizzying circles are tiring
And still I may be ready for more.
But are you willing to release the crazy cycle and go forward?

by Melanie Sargent

I wrote that poem a few months ago when I realized that the man I married was, although a very good man, wasn't the right man for me. I desperately wanted him to be. I looked deeply into everything that offered hope, offered a solution. But, try as I might, the end came and my brief marriage dissolved much like a mirage, at the moment that I had been finally believing it to be real.

I look now at the kaleidoscope of warnings that came to me with fleeting bits of clarity. I knew, and then I denied what I knew. I told myself to follow my intuition, it would guide me. But, I doubted what I was learning. Really, it scared me and I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe that he was the man he said he was.

My intuition told me through my dreams that we were a mismatched pair. I would awaken with anxiety and a troubled heart several times a week throughout our nearly two year relationship. Occasionally, I would have a pleasant dream with him in it, but mostly they were disturbing. They would dictate to me the differences in our values, the way we viewed the world. Sometimes it would come in the form of a gross betrayal, other times it would be more subtle.

Now, I am not suggesting that if you have a dream or two about your spouse cheating that they are in fact cheating on you! No, rather I am implying that your subconscious mind is trying to get your attention, especially if you are having the dreams on a regular basis. It may be worth your time to write about them. Not only the details you remember from the dream, but also the feelings that it provoked before and then throughout your day as you reflect upon it.

You may notice that you are just the casual observer and that what you are seeing doesn't offend you. You may see yourself react in a way that isn't normal for you. For example, in the past sometimes I would find myself getting really angry and confrontational and suddenly know triple black belt level karate and kick some serious ass! I would awaken from those dreams feeling exhausted and empowered that I could handle a situation if it should arise. No, I couldn't just perform that level of skill, but if that dream was speaking in metaphor, as they often do, I could relate it to another area in my life in which I was feeling out of control or weak, and I could see the relationship and know that inside of me I did own the power to handle the situation!

And that, is precisely what you can gain from paying attention to your dreams. In my specific instance with my husband, I was finding that over and over I was giving up my personal power and ideals in different ways in order to submit to him. Ultimately, it emphasized how out of balance we were as a couple. When you have to consistently dis empower yourself in order to show love or be loved by your partner, it isn't healthy and it won't honor the best in either of you.

And, just like the soap opera always says, "Like sands through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives." Moving on, moving forward and hopefully learning from our mistakes. Even enough to recognize that some things we may initially classify as mistakes, such as my soiled marriage, are really not mistakes, just stepping stones to take us to where we are supposed to be heading.


Friday, November 28, 2008

The Ripple Effect

When I was a young girl, I was quite taken with this poem, "There's a ripple effect in all that we do, what you do touches me, what I do touches you." It was on a really groovy 70's poster that hung on the wall of my room. It didn't site an author, so unfortunately, I have no one to credit. The words were so powerful and evocative that they have stayed with me all these years. Time and again I have reflected back on the simplicity and truth in those words.

In some ways, it's like saying that Karma will come back to you, positively or negatively, depending upon what you do. We have a choice in every instance, to create a positive vibration or the contrary. Sometimes we may worry that if we stand up for ourselves and hold our ground, and not take care of the other person or persons involved, that we will be creating a ripple of negativity. I stand to think that when we hold true to ourselves, with love and integrity, we will create a space that will allow others' to hold true to themselves also, with love and dignity.

There are natural consequences in this world. For example, my son may knock over a plant, breaking the pot and making a dirty mess everywhere. He didn't maliciously knock over the plant. It was an accident. However, there are still consequences from that action. He still needs to clean up the mess, possibly buy me a new pot out of his hard-earned money, and re-pot the plant if it survived the crash. Another consequence is that I lose a pot and possibly a plant. Likely both of our time is taken with the cleaning up, the going to the store for new supplies, etc. Cause and effect. It doesn't always mean that we make a conscious choice around how or why things happen. Things happen, consequences take form, and we get to decide how to react. We can react by throwing a fit, calling out abusive words, stomping our feet.... or, we can choose to remain calm and take care of the mess without letting the incident take us to another place of regret.

That isn't to say that some days I don't throw the fit and overreact! Of course I do! More and more though, as I become awakened, I realize that this is just "stuff". This isn't significant in the big picture! And, understanding that allows the space for life to take the course of our destiny, our blueprint. I allow myself to have moments where I am angry, frustrated, sad, etc... but, I make a conscious effort to identify that this is what I am feeling now, let the feeling happen in as safe a way as possible, and then release the hold the feeling has on me as soon as its appropriate. Remembering that it is just a feeling, it is not my overall essence.

One thing that I am in full awareness of... life cause ripples, we affect people knowingly and unknowingly, positively and negatively. However, if more often than not, we can choose to create positive ripples I'm suggesting that everyone will benefit in a global way. Especially ourselves.

I leave you with this quote by Earl Nightingale as you may ponder what type of ripples you are creating in your life, and in others' lives, "Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us."

May you create peaceful and gracious ripples throughout your life...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Allowing gratitude and generosity in your life

I've been pondering gratitude quite a lot lately, as my life has taken some unexpected turns, some in which could easily lead to a nose-dive into the pools of despair. So, to think and explore the concepts around being thankful, at times can seem daunting. My Higher Self, however, disagrees. My Higher Self is inclined to think that even hardships are blessings. Yes, even the terrible tragedies create blessings often in some form.

You see, we live in a world of contrasts and reciprocity; often viewed as yin and yang, dark to light, high to low, in to out, etc. There is a duality in our world that creates seemed blessings and assumed curses. Many by now have heard of the Law of Attraction. It has gotten quite a stir lately with the movie The Secret and all of the spiritual gurus jumping the bandwagon! Not that it isn't a bandwagon worthy of jumping, it is. It has been often pushed and touted as an alternative to positive affirmations, or rather, it really just takes positive affirmations to the next level. At any rate, often the focus is on getting rich, and for many, that is the most important thing. "Ye who dies with the most toys wins" would not be such a famous quote, if the majority didn't crave money and material possessions. I'd like to suggest another way to encourage the Law of Attraction and the Law of Reciprocity to be utilized not only to YOUR advantage, but also to the WORLD'S advantage.

And, this is where the whole "gratitude" aspect comes into play... For us to take the high road, where we can hold our head's high and know that we are each doing the best we can, with the tools we have been given, to accomplish exactly what we are here to do. That may sound somewhat complex to some, and you may be wondering what in the heck I mean, but please bear with me! I don't want you to have to give up all of your material possessions! I'm just suggesting, that the Universe is abundant! There is plenty for everyone! And, part of this process of attraction is allowing yourself to accept the abundance and be certain in your generosity to others' that it will be reciprocated, often tenfold, to you! It is a good idea to share, and know that you will never be without.

The Tao Te Ching says this quite nicely, "Instead of trying to be a mountain, be the valley of the universe and all things will come to you." In the Bible, it is taught that as you give, you will receive. This truth, no matter what your faith, is prevalent in the Law of Attraction and the Law of Reciprocity. Nothing, and I mean nothing, that you do, say, show, give, or take is without effect. In physics they have a law derived from Newton that states, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." All of these things point to the elementary "cause and effect". What you do matters. What I do matters. We, globally and independently, matter. So... matter in a big way. Matter in a series of small ways. Matter in a "Pay it Forward", live your best life, be thankful for the rain, the sun, the grass that grows underfoot... the sadness that comes into your world because it teaches you compassion for others' sadness... the food on our tables that nourish us, knowing that there are so many out there that are without nourishment.... We are so rich with blessings. Feel those blessings. Be grateful for them. And then, do what you can, in small ways or large, to share them. Those blessings will befall you tenfold and more.

Believe. Go forward. Be grateful. Bless others' and allow yourself to be blessed.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

"They say that dreams are the windows of the soul- take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts." ~Henry Bromel

When looking into your heart and soul for answers, I would like to suggest taking stock in your dreams. Not just your fantasies and daydreams... but your nighttime adventures. Your fantasies and daydreams will lead you to the places that your heart yearns to go. Your sleeping dreams will evoke sparks of illumination, hope and inspiration!

Dreams, they could be your direct link to God. Have you ever considered what a brilliant format that would make? God could talk to us, give us suggestions and hints about what we are doing in this world and perhaps what we should be doing, without having to be this oppressive, stifling figure snuffing out our free will. Well, I for one, believe it to be true. Not to say that every dream we can remember is a poignantly expressed truth. But to be open to the concept that occasional flashes of brilliance may befall us, if we can choose to explore our deepest subconscious yearnings and remain open-minded.

"To accomplish great things we must dream, as well as act." ~Anatole France (1844-1924)

Any great soul-seeker, anyone willing to take on their own psyche... to explore the magnificent depth of our being, has to come at some point to the analysis of their dreams. To do this with the desire to learn and grow, certain sacrifices must be made:

1) You will need to dedicate yourself to taking blurry-eyed notes whenever you awake to relieve yourself or let the dog out.

2) You will need to persevere. This is not something for those seeking immediate gratification. Take your time and collect a series of data before you start making judgments about what God is telling you!

3) Realize that dreaming may not be the best and most direct route for you. There are many ways to explore our unknowns, and messages come from all angles and sources. This is an exercise to help you to open yourself up to possibilities. It is one path but certainly not the only path!

Starting tonight, I want you to start exploring your dreams. In order to do this effectively, it is best to keep a notebook and a pen near your bed. At any time through the course of the night that you may wake up, jot down a few quick notes about what you were dreaming about. It doesn't need to be much, just whatever comes to mind... colors, textures, people, whatever. Then again, first upon waking, write down whatever you can remember with as much detail as possible. Continue to do this night after night. Don't worry if nothing seems to make sense, oftentimes, dreams won't individually, or they won't at first, but in retrospect they may make sense. Often later, collectively, they may paint an intuitive picture for you to meditate upon. Some of you may have very introspective, thoughtful dreams that very explicitly give direction. Pay attention to these dreams. They may not be coming through as 100% accurate truths, but they may have an underlying message that shouldn't be ignored either.

A couple of good websites that can help you to decipher your dreaming are:

Remember, your best and most accurate dream interpreter is you. These sites are here to be helpful and they have general guidelines that interpreters know to be consistent dream symbols, but they aren't necessarily set in stone. Trust your intuition and it won't fail you!

I'll look forward to your comments about how everything is turning out while you explore this provocative, informative form of entertainment and enlightenment!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Listen to those 'Little Voices' inside of your head!

"When you listen and allow, Spirit guides you." -Dr. Wayne Dyer

Some people call it crazy, and some people call it "INSPIRATION". I am an "inspiration" kind of gal. Which kind are you? There is no right or wrong answer, it just leads you inward where you need to go in order to fully understand yourself. And, I believe that understanding yourself is one of the truest ways to realign your "blueprint" and discover what you are doing here. What your soul's greatest intentions are!

Those little voices inside you head, the ones that speak to you about what you like or dislike, about what you want to do or don't want to do, whether to turn left or right at the next intersection... they all are parts of you. Some may call them guides. Some may call them angels or devils (hence the famous depiction of the angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other...). Your Higher Self, God, Collective Unconscious... whatever you choose to use as a label is fine, just please entertain the idea that they are generally helpful little voices! Now, some of you may need some intervention as you begin your process of listening. Sometimes it can be very confusing to decipher what is helpful and what is hurtful if you have some underlying issues that haven't been resolved. Our subconscious' have a way of "protecting" us based on past events that may not be relevant to our current situations. So, it is applicable and logical to use some rational thought and reasoning while you filter those little voices!

In addition to those little voices, or for some of you, no little voices at all, but you may notice some body reactions to concepts that come to you. Pay attention! Your body will talk to you in a similar fashion to the "voices". If something isn't for your greatest good, you may feel your stomach turn... or a headache come on... or a nagging sensation deep within. Pay attention to the little details your body offers. They are there as a blessing to you. A road map of sorts to help you decipher how best to thrive as a human!

You may even choose to pay attention to your dreams. Many people out there don't remember their dreams, but bear with me, the more you consciously choose to remember, the more you sub-consciously will remember. When your body rests, the soul is active and generating new ideas and patterns that are organically helpful to you in both body and soul. It is my belief that it is insightful beyond belief to pay attention! I think that within the next few days I will share with you some tips on remembering your dreams and gaining insights into what they mean to you. Until then, remind yourself before you go to sleep that it is your intention and desire to remember the dreams that have important messages for you.

Now, that being said, I would like to add the disclaimer that there are times when your brain will act as a grand movie theatre for you during your sleep, it will replay all of the images in random order that engaged and excited you throughout the days. In addition to that, your imagination, hopes and fears may all play a role! Your dreams work predominantly using symbology. So, just because you dream it, does not necessarily mean that your spouse is having an affair, or your dog is going to be run over, or that you are going to be pregnant at 54 years old! Definitely more on dreams to come! Until then, keep a pen and paper by your bed, scratch some notes and pay attention!

Spirit, inspiration, God all come to you in your own unique delivery package. Listen to what is around you and discover where your most suited antenna lies. This is the first and most critical step in finding and accessing you purpose.


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A mentor of mine, Gary DeRodriguez, once said, "Stretch, imagine, and create relationships that are aligned to your deepest values."

The eighth wonder of the world, I would venture to say... is "I wonder why I'm here?". We've all done it, we've all questioned our existence at some point or another, so what is the answer? There are so many! That, my friends is why I'm here. My gift and purpose on this planet is to help other people understand what their gift is... what you are meant to learn... what you are meant to experience... what your contribution is to this human experience!

Whether you believe in a Higher Power, let's call it "God", or not, whether you have a fastidious religion, or a laid-back "relationship with God", it's okay! Nothing that you are doing is wrong. Everything you are experiencing, be it good or bad, is a human process that you chose to experience. And, as hard as some processes may be, there is always a greater good if you can dig deep enough to experience it. The downfall that we spirits face while in human form is that we forget the main focus of why we are here. We forget our "Blueprint"... our map of what our greatest desires to accomplish are.

Do you feel lost? Like you don't even know yourself anymore? Like you are going through the motions, but never accomplishing anything, rarely enjoying intense joy and satisfaction? Well, it may be time for you to reconnect with your blueprint.

The intention of this website is for interaction. You the reader and me, the writer... let's interact! Let's philosophize, theorize and problem solve! Let's ponder the gifts and curses of this world! Let's find solutions together to make it a happier, healthier place! I will be contributing my 2-bits here and there, (hopefully consistently) and I will look forward to your feedback! Only by seeking within ourselves, can we fully know who and why we are here. What our deepest values truly are. What really matters! That WE really matter! Each of you matter... if you are doubting, keep reading! You won't for long!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Motivation Out of Heartbreak

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and in which direction it's heading and I have been bombarded with ideas, thoughts and inspiration! It's amazing to think that during this time of struggle... my new marriage is currently failing... something wonderful could be emerging. I suppose that that is the way the Universe operates though, the quintessential 'One door opens as another closes' type of thing. I am working so hard on figuring out all the pieces that are missing from my marital puzzle, that it seems impossible that invention and motivation could be present! And yet, they are present. In fact, burning within me. I am literally on fire with ways that I can use all these skills that have been accumulating throughout the years! I am seeing so clearly how all the pain, frustration, and joy I've experienced has actually been helping me gain the experiences that I've needed in order to be able to play my part in this world! Pretty exciting, huh?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Lets Join the Buffalo Mentality!

I think that in general, most people would assume that buffalo are somewhat inept, stupid even. However, I just watched a video on youtube that definitely has me thinking otherwise. In fact, I think that we as human beings would be well served to learn from them!

This video depicts a small family of buffalo, two adults and a child walking along the waters edge. In the near distance, a family of lions are observing them, salivating of course. As the buffalo approach the lions, the lions attack. The buffalo turn and run, as logic and instinct would dictate! The lions capture the baby buffalo, it being the weakest link, and start preparing their supper. Unbeknownst to the lions, the parent buffalo were gathering the herd for help and support. They came back as a unified force and surrounded the lions and attacked them, ultimately rescuing the baby from the lions clutches! The lions will go hungry tonight, and the buffalo have rallied together, collectively, to keep their child and their future, safe.

The reason this spoke so fiercely to me is that I am rarely seeing that observed in our society anymore. I remember when I was a child, I knew most of my neighbors and they knew me. When I did something naughty, they either took it upon themselves to discipline me or they marched me right down to my parents and ensured that my folks would take care of it! And, my folks did! A blind eye was never turned in my home. If you broke the rules, you faced the consequences. Ultimately, I learned to think twice before doing something I knew could get me in trouble!

And conversely, those same neighbors were the ones that would rally around me, tend my wounds if I were hurt, watch me if my parents were late home from work, talk to me when I had a bad day, defend me against the bullies of the world... they would keep me safe as one of their own. What is happening to our social consciousness that we aren't taking care of the children? When did the rights of the pedophiles become more important? When did political correctness and "not wanting to get involved" take over our natural instincts to protect and help?

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child. If you look around at our world you can certainly see where that is true. The places, the towns, the neighborhoods, the families that all contribute collectively to the nurturing and growth of our children are precisely the areas with the least crime, the highest academic accomplishments and achievements, and with the greatest amounts of overall happiness. And, financial prosperity has nothing to do with it! It is all reflective of our individual roles as caretakers of our children, amassed as a whole. We all make a difference, whether we want to or not. So, together lets choose to start making a difference that improves humanity. Let's rally together in our own herds and protect our children, our future and theirs. If we all gather together, as the buffalo, defeating the lions will not only be a possibility, but a relatively easy reality!

Monday, April 28, 2008


Lately I have been confronted with my listening skills, or rather, my lack there of. I had always considered myself a good listener, an empathetic ear and occasionally a keen adviser. And, I have always enjoyed being with other apt listeners. I have recognized how my soul responds and feels soothed. And, to the contrary when I don't feel well listened to.

One thing that I've noticed is that when I am listening carefully, I am actively engaged in the story that is unfolding. I am withholding my arguments, judgments and affirmations. I am not thinking up clever responses or debates. I am simply listening. Now, when you are in a competitive debate with someone, sometimes it is appropriate to gather your thoughts while the other is talking in order to be prepared for your turn. However, when you are in the company of a friend, acquaintance or loved one, that is not a respectful listening response. For a long time I thought that by inserting my comments and thoughts while they were speaking was the best way to show someone that I was listening and caring about what they were sharing with me. Now, I am more under the impression that it is wiser to pause if need be when they are finished speaking, collect your thoughts and opinions based on the entire verbiage, and then comment as necessary.

As I have chosen to actively apply this new consciousness I have towards listening, I've begun to see more clearly how few of us (I'm still working on being lumped into the "us" grouping) actually listen well. And frankly, it has been a real challenge for me. I find myself telling my loved ones to stop interrupting.... to listen to me... to allow me to finish my thought... to Shut Up! even. Losing my patience often with them, saying a variety of things such as "Forget it!" or "I don't know why I bother to ever speak!" etc... It is certainly creating a lot of uncomfortable moments within my household.

So, that brings me to my next observation about listening, and being truly "heard". We all want to be heard. Even people who are quite shy and introverted want to be heard (in some form or another). We ALL want others to know that we exist. That we have contributions to be made, interesting thoughts from time to time, funny antidotes... We all have an intrinsic need to be known, that our existence matters to someone, somewhere.

That is why listening carefully is so vital. It is the best and most powerful tool to show respect for another. To show through apt attention that the person that is speaking matters, even when you disagree with what is being said. The next time you are having a conversation with someone, I challenge you to create body language and visual contact that communicates with the person to whom you are listening to that you truly are engaged and really hearing them attentively.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Balance and Harmony

The word balance has been a key word used by spiritualists for centuries. Ayuraveda, feng shui, yoga, yin and yang... all of which teach us to work towards creating balance in our lives. And recently, "Balance" has come into question by some of the headlining speakers. It has been proposed that balance is boring. That it has no movement and without movement, it is dead, stagnant.

After being at a seminar by a well-respected author that shunned balance in favor of "Harmony", it created many feelings of uncertainty within me. So, I have begun the thought process of what exactly is balance, what is harmony? Actually, they are synonyms according to Webster's New World Thesaurus. I looked it up, as I had been thinking that the gentleman was speaking in semantics, creating a new catch phrase to help him sell more books and engagement seminars. Now, I'm not against new ideas and inspirations that encourage people to become their best, quite the opposite in fact, that is the whole purpose of this blog! However, I recognized within myself that I felt quite defensive about the word balance. It has been something that even when I was small I yearned for. And never once did it occur to me that if I achieved balance I would become stagnant or boring. To the contrary! I thought that if I were to ever achieve the status of being balanced it would be nearly mystical! Balance, at least in my mind, was the ability to masterfully handle the natural ebb and flow that life offers! How decidedly peaceful to consider that perhaps one day I would appreciate the rain as much as the golden sunlight streaming upon me! To taste the saltiness of a handful of roasted almonds and enjoy the sensation as much as I do the sweet taste of wedding cake!

Harmony is a beautiful word and an honorable objective, but I really don't think that it needs to take anything away from the beauty of balance. To me, it is no different than saying that one woman is the most beautiful and therefore, all others' are not beautiful at all. Just because one is beautiful, be it word or woman, does not make the other unbeautiful.

So, be it balance, harmony, equilibrium, level or attuned, they are all of the same and all well worth the pursuit.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Bon Voyage!

As an Aquarian, I am a water bearer by nature. An air sign as well. So, my head often lives in the clouds, while my body moves through this space much like water does. Changing my environment subtly at times, and harshly at other times. My personal goals are to move through this lifetime creating positive changes in myself and those around me. This blog is my first attempt to communicate my intentions to this world and to myself. What transpires through these pages are yet unknown, but hopefully the ripple effect of positive change will transcend.

To end this introduction, I would like to quote Arthur Golden's work of art, Memoirs of a Geisha, "We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course." I have now splashed into something that is allowing me to embark on a new course, and I invite your comments and feedback!